The Plan: Raising Awareness

I was watching the news the other day and there was a local fundraiser that was being covered. Some of you may be surprised that I keep up on the news and current events. Yes, I do. If you really want to be scared, know that I vote. Hah.

So this fundraiser... as I was watching it was announced that the local group was raising money for Global Warming Awareness. I couldn't help but question the "awareness" part of that equation. Think about it, by now, who isn't aware of global warming. Whether you believe in it or not you've at least heard the phrase and know what it's all about.

Not to mention, if you're just raising awareness about a subject, what do you need that much money for? It's not like a charity where money goes toward people in need (an obvious problem that obviously requires money). Couldn't you just spend twenty bucks on a megaphone and scream about it until more people are aware of it? Or even for free just write a few letters to the editor until you get published somewhere. Isn't just having a fundraiser raising awareness? This spreads by word of mouth best of all! So what are they really raising money for?

That's when it struck me - these people are obviously secret geniuses and I want in.

I'm going to hold my own fundraiser to raise awareness. My fundraiser will raise awareness about cough drops, volcanoes in Antarctica or even disappearing bees. Then, when the fundraiser is over I can pocket all that money and call it a day. Think about it, I did my job. I raised awareness so much people were willing to hand me money. I can keep doing that and keep doing that and eventually millions of people will be paying attention and I'll be turning a profit and no one will be the wiser and everyone will be aware.

What else am I supposed to do? Write a check to "awareness"? That would only work if I changed my name.

-E