In movies whenever a character is having a bad day it's pretty much an unspoken rule that it has to be raining and eventually a car will drive past, through a puddle, and splash the aforementioned character causing him/her to be soaked. This of course is usually hilarious and the person is first shocked and then usually pretty angry about it.
It's been raining lately and I love driving through puddles. I will go out of my way to drive through puddles multiple times if I must. I love this. As I was splashing and laughing maniacally as I often do (it feels right) I got to thinking. If there was a person there I'd very obviously notice, and I would never splash someone on purpose. That's a level of horrible that even I wouldn't cross.
On that note, does that even happen in real life? I've never seen someone get a huge splash from a car. That's when I realized - this is my new dream (I have a lot, a whole list)! I want to get splashed by a car driving past me! That would be so awesome right? It doesn't matter where you're going because when you show up you suddenly have an awesome story to tell!
Boss: Why are you soaking wet?
E : A car drove by me and I got splashed by a huge puddle!!
Boss: Awesome!!!
Okay, so maybe boss wouldn't think it's awesome, probably more likely that I would get sent home to change but at least it's interesting right?
I've also always wanted to meet my very own Dwight Schrute from The Office. I always believed I would have so much fun with a character like that!
So a few weekends ago I was at a speech tournament. Another competitor/friend of mine that I have nicknamed Puppy (If you knew him, you would totally understand) had to go off campus to have a smoke since the college that was hosting doesn't allow smoking. At all. It was pretty ridiculous.
So we were standing on the edge of the very small side road, just past a speed bump. Suddenly this Mitsubishi blares past us, flying over the speed bump and the front of the car slams onto the road and directly into a puddle. The splash hit us with the accompanying crunch of the bumper against asphalt. I was in shock for a moment.
Puppy goes on about they were idiots and they got karma and pointed out that they slowed down substantially for the next speed bump fifty feet up. I look at him with what I imagine to be wonder and joy in my eyes.
E : We totally got splashed!!!
Puppy: Wut? (In my head he talks like this)
E : I thought this only happened in movies! I've been wanting this to happen to me! Sure it wasn't a huge splash but dude!!! This is awesome!!!
I was very excited. I think some of it rubbed off on Puppy because he wasn't in as bad a mood and seemed at least amused by my happiness. So it may not have been the gigantic theatrical tidal wave but the lower half of my body got adequately soaked and I feel like I can accept that.
On that note, another dream of mine came true. I went to Joe J. Johnson II's family Thanksgiving this year since my family lives out of state and I can't afford to go visit them. I was very happy to be invited. His Aunt has adopted a couple of kids. The story is quite sad actually, as the one in particular I will be mentioning is literally a drug baby, now 16-years-old.
He was sitting in a chair working on some wires. A small child goes up and comments on the wires "smelling weird". The 16-year-old makes a face, smells the wires and states that the wires have no smell. The child continues insisting that they smell weird and the older one keeps responding that there's no smell.
To dispel the situation I, being a know-it-all and enjoying sharing interesting information, pipe up.
E : Actually, the young one may just be able to smell better than we can. As we grow older neurons die off in our nose, just like they do in taste buds. This means that just like he has a more sensitive sense of taste than we do, he's also got a more sensitive sense of smell. So while he can smell a faint strange odor, we may just be too old to catch it.
There is a moment of silence while the young one toddles off and the older kid looks at me before he speaks up to say a single word.
Dwight: False.
(See what I did there? Named him Dwight, get it?)
At that point I am both crushed and enraged. This was my dream coming true. I wanted to meet a Dwight and here he is. Unfortunately he's a drug baby so I can't mess with him without feeling guilty about taking advantage of a kid who has little to no control over his abilities. I end up grumbling something about my college anatomy class and then disappearing into another room with other folk to play Pokemon Ruby.
It's not fair.
At the end of the day, I think it's pretty worth it though - having dreams. Sure they may not all be what I expect them to but the joy I got from being splashed outweighs any temporary crossness I may come across when they aren't quite what I expect.
I hope it rains again soon!
-E
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