Thursday, May 19, 2011

Labels Labels Everywhere

I was so mad at first because it appeared my last blog post about skinny jeans and chat speak had evaporated but today I checked and BAM! There it was. I am okay with this and it has reminded me I should probably post something else.

Something that I was thinking about as I was having a conversation.

I remember when I was growing up I preferred the company of boys. I played mostly with boy toys and played mostly active boy games. I played with some girl toys like My Little Pony and Polly Pockets but everything was some giant battle. Sometimes with the ponies my sister and I would create bands that went on tour and sang along to songs on the radio. But mostly something awful always went wrong and the bad guys had to be defeated.

House was boring unless I was playing the dog or the evil stepmother (muahahaha)!

I wasn't afraid to get dirty and I quickly lost interest in make up for frilly things.

There was a period in my life where I tried to fit in and be girly. Then that got boring so I stopped.

I was... a tomboy. I still consider myself a tomboy. I figured a tomboy is a girl that wasn't a lesbian and wasn't interested in girly things.

Now this friend of mine - she's very sweet and funny. I enjoy her company. She is interested in outfits, hair dos, make up and all that stuff (including the color pink, ick). However she also snowboards, loves the lakers and listens to rap music.

Per my definition, she's not a tomboy... however in our conversation she revealed that she considers herself one. Simply because some things she likes are not traditionally girly.

I feel like her definition is too broad, her definition can apply to almost ANY woman and therefore makes the term "tomboy" completely pointless. It cheapens the word and makes it taste like watered down beer when I say it.

Worst of all, it makes ME less special.

And we can't have that, can we?


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Cowboys Don't Wear Them

There are a few things in this world that really get me mad. Just by existing. Every time I encounter one of these things it sets me off on a little rant (this happens in my head and out if there is someone nearby to listen).

Chatspeak is one of those things. I hate it in emails, over IM, on forums, via text message... there's just no good excuse to ever substitute "u" for "you". If your Y button stops working then don't talk to me until you fix it.

It's also really difficult to read. There have been many instances when I've had to ask other people to translate what some person is saying. It's incredibly frustrating since, seemingly, the entire purpose of chatspeak is to simplify the English language, not commit unspeakable (literally) horrors to it's very functionality!

Communication is important!

Another one of these things seems to be gaining in popularity. Skinny. Freaking. Jeans.

About 50% of the population insists on wearing these monstrosities and they are flattering for about 1%. These percentages are 100% accurate and are drawn from my head in the midst of a mental rant.

The problem with Skinny jeans is that you have to have narrow hips and thin, long legs in order to look good in them. Most girls don't have that, considering we're supposed to have wider hips than shoulders. Most guys don't have that unless they're prepubescent and haven't developed thigh muscles yet. Fat people especially do not fit in this category (for crying out loud, it's in the name! "Skinny" jeans) and usually what we end up seeing is a Dr. Eggerman lookalike rolling about.

Sometimes, and this is entirely baffling, I find that in order to fit ankles into these types of jeans, whoever is wearing it has to get a couple sizes larger in the waist which means someone is wearing baggy skinny jeans that accentuate the largeness of the rump area and make the calves look super bulky.

So unless you're a supermodel, don't wear them. If you're a guy, don't wear them either - unless you're some hipster type and then you're pretty much doomed to look like you suffer from lack of grooming and ill fitted anyway.


Monday, May 9, 2011

I'll Tell You Why I Can Be So Heartless

I know, it's been a while. Sparkles has been buggin' me to post.

Joe J Johnson III and I decided we wanted to go see Insidious the other day because we're such big fans of Paranormal Activity 1 and 2.

Of course, we can't go see a movie without getting some noms first. The availability of coupons (buy one get one free!) meant that we ended up at Burger King. When Joe J and I walked in we were closely followed by a group of tubby Mexican kids, probably about twelve or so.

Is it racist to point out that they were Mexican? I figure it's just kind of a fact, but if you've been to Southern California you probably realize this is a bit pertinent to the story. Or not. Whatever, it's a description.

They were just hanging out at the front of the store while Joe and I ordered and ate. At one point I needed to go up to the front to grab our food and one of the punks was playing on his scooter which caused me to bump into him since they weren't taught to get the hell out of the way in WALK AREAS. But I was nice, I apologized and said excuse me and got back to my table unharmed.

As we were walking out and I was filling the cup to go, the same boy that I bumped into mouthed something at me. Okay, so he didn't mouth anything but he was speaking really quietly so I didn't hear him.

E : "What?"
Tubby Kid: "Can I borrow a dollar?"
E : "No! What's wrong with you?!"

I was super annoyed. I pushed past him and walked with Joe to the car. The kid followed behind us for a bit but I kept looking back at him and he ran off once he got out the front door. I ranted to Joe about how it was BS that he thought it was appropriate to go around asking complete strangers for money when he was obviously well fed, well groomed and well clothed. Joe said he had seen the kid approach other people as well. This explained why the group of them were just hanging out at the front instead of ordering food and sitting down like normal people.

The more I thought about it the more angry I became. This fat little kid thought it was okay to beg for money when there are children in homeless shelters that don't get enough. He even had the audacity to ask to "borrow" money, as though he intended to repay it at a later date! He could benefit from a volunteering gig I assume.

Punk had newer clothes than I did.

Insidious was okay. I think I expected it to be better than it was.