The Plan: Music Industry

I've been listening to a lot more rap/hip hop type music lately. I think I'm attracted to the mindlessness of it all. Sometimes when I need to just shut off my brain, depth is kinda hard to handle.

I've noticed a couple things that sometimes concern me.

Some of these songs are pretty thinly veiled advocates for (date) rape.

Seriously! Check out these lyrics directly from "DJ Got Us Falling In Love" by Usher
"She don't wrestle, but I got her in a headlock
Yabba dabba doo make her bed rock
Mami on fire, pss, red hot"

I can't be the only person to see rape in those lyrics. It doesn't help that throughout the whole song Usher is telling this girl to live like it's the last night of her life. To not worry and just keep drinking. Really Usher? You want me to keep drinking? Why do you want me drunk so badly? Why do I have to give up on tomorrow?

Another thing I noticed is that a lot of this type of music starts off with the artist hissing/whispering their own name. Sometimes it's in the middle or at the end of the song, but it's far more common at the beginning.

The only remotely logical explanation I can think of for doing something like this is a type of "watermark". But even that doesn't make sense. Of course if someone were to steal the song there are legal procedures in place that are far more effective. For example: Copyright law.

Obviously the real reason is because these creators think that their name, and by proxy themselves, is so amazing that they must utter it as often as possible. Maybe they consider it a kindness?

So I've decided that I'm going to be a popstar, just like Usher and Beyonce or whatever. I'm going to make a song that's nothing but me saying/hissing/whispering/screaming/shouting/suggesting/projecting/snapping and snarling my name over and over and over again. That'll be the whole song. I will say that I'm making a political statement. Or something like that. Celebrities do that all the time right?

Next a guy is going to make a song, about someone with my name. He'll sample bits of my song while singing about some person and using me uttering my own name every time the name comes up. Of course this will be a breach of copyright law because I would never have given the okay for my song to be used in such a way.

I would then sue him and it would be huge publicity for both of our songs.

No one would ever know that we were in cahoots the whole time and it was just a set up to get our music noticed.

-E