Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Truth Hurts

When I was nine one of the other kids in my classed said that Santa was not real. We got into an argument and eventually it lead to a fist fight. This is about the time that my parents decided to sit me down and let me know the truth.

I remember sobbing for hours as my parents put me through this necessary step toward becoming a grown up. My father felt guilty for lying to me about Santa, because I had trusted him so blindly and it lead to this. My sister made fun of me and my mom got tired of me crying and wandered away because she thought I was being dramatic.

Finally my father told me that Santa may not exist in the north pole but that he existed in our hearts and that was what was really important. I took this to mean that I could believe in whatever I wanted and it would become real. I spent most of the rest of the day proclaiming that I could see unicorns in our backyard and that it was sunny (despite the overcast nature of the day).

My sister confided in me a few years later that she was sure my mind had been broken by the trauma of it all.

A few months ago some friends and I were having a few drinks and talking. Somehow the topic of the Blue Man Group came up. I've never seen any of their shows live or follow where they play or anything. Everything that I know about BMG I know from stumbling across a show broadcasted on television or snippets caught online. I mentioned that I thought the three of them were incredibly talented.

Then the ugly truth came out. I was informed that they have a show almost everyday in Vegas and if they did not somehow have more members there would be no way for tours to occur elsewhere. I first suspected a dozen, then may be a couple dozen until finally it was revealed that there were well over a hundred rigorously trained blue men and that the original guys didn't even perform anymore except on very rare occasions.

I was speechless. I tried to get my friends to admit they were kidding, that they were just saying that to mess with me. I needed them to tell me this. But it was all to no avail. It was the truth and no matter how much coercion I could manage I couldn't make the reality any less real.

Just like sitting on Santa's lap at the mall had lost it's appeal, any interest I had in seeing Blue Man Group live has dissipated. Santa and the original three will live on in my heart forever though.




  1. "Then the ugly truth came out." - I swear I thought this was common knowledge. I didn't know I was adding to a list of childhood trauma...... although now that I know theres a list I can add to I may have to make that a challenge.

  2. You already tried with the progressive commercials!