Friday, December 10, 2010

Prenatal Parasites

The dictionary definition of the word parasite:
"1. an animal or plant that lives in or on another (the host) from which it obtains nourishment. The host does not benefit from the association and is often harmed by it"

Keep that in mind throughout this blog.

When I was younger I used to babysit a lot. I made enough money by the age of thirteen that my mother decided I was officially responsible for all my own toiletries, clothes and anything else a person may find useful in everyday life. I was lead to believe that this was normal and I was lucky that I wasn't being charged rent.

It wasn't until much later when I realized that my friends weren't the exceptions when their parents bought them tons of stuff and gave them money.

I didn't mind though. I really loved babysitting. I felt like I was getting paid to play with kids, watch TV, do homework and just in general have a good productive time. I love kids. To this day I feel more comfortable with them than I do most adults (fewer kid serial killers probably has something to do with this).

When I was eighteen I developed heavily into a phobia. I had a pretty traumatic experience and it got to the point where if I saw an infant I would have a panic attack, sob and generally do anything I could to get away. Even pregnancy would make me distinctly uncomfortable and I would go out of my way to avoid a pregnant lady. This made work difficult when you work at a place like Best Buy or Applebees (I don't anymore, stalkers! Don't get your hopes up). At about 6 months old they (the babies) get okay, when they start having facial expressions, become more mobile, develop more independence and just act more human in general.

Now, because I'm a logical being (Robot) I had to find a way to rationalize this fear. Knowing the cause wasn't making it any easier, and any progress I was making was slow. So I turned to research. I learned about pregnancy and stages of infancy. I learned about what happens when a woman is with child. I learned about how extensive caring for an infant is.

Then I finally figured it out. Fetus' are parasites. They grow inside the womb, destroying their mothers skin fibers, stealing nutrients via amniotic fluid and umbilical cords, causing the bodies hormones to react in unpredictable ways as the body tries desperately to return to homeostasis. Then when they are born the mother must continue consuming enough nutrients to have a supply of food for the same infant she must clean and lose sleep over. Throughout this entire time there is nothing to be gained from this relationship that benefits the mother.

Fetus' and infants are parasites. Females are the hosts.

I don't have panic attacks anymore, which took a lot of conditioning, but I'm still uncomfortable around pregnant women and infants.

Which is doubly weird cause I think tapeworms are neat.


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