Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Internet Dating Adventure Fail Example #3

The internet dating world is full of guys who don't want to be shallow, but are. They spend a lot of time talking about how they like "healthy" girls, because we only have one body and we shouldn't abuse it. Sometimes these guys are fit themselves, sometimes they aren't. Personally I think there's nothing wrong with knowing what you find attractive, but I'm certainly annoyed that they think because it's "healthy appearance" that excludes them from the "shallow" category.

I had a bit of back and forth with one of these self professed health nuts. I do mention on my profile, in the spirit of honesty, that I'm overweight and in the process of losing.

haps:i saw your in middle of losing weight, to reach your goal

Teh haps:how is that going?

He brings it up first, we were in the middle of a conversation about travel so I don't even know where the gentle segue was.

E :Until this semester ends it's unfortunately at a standstill. I'm getting older and I can't rock the 18 hour days like I used to

E :Next semester I'll be doing online classes so that should allow for more gym time

I answer honestly. It's only fair, especially since I know this is something important to him. Also I don't have any real interest so if I scare him away I'm not too concerned.

Teh haps:so why is it on a standstill?

As though I didn't just answer that.

Teh haps:are you still watching what you ear?

Teh haps:eat?

Delving for more information. This is where I start to feel uncomfortable, I know it can't really go well.

E :It's at a standstill because I'm working full time and going to school full time. Something had to give and unfortunately it was gym time

E :yes, I am still eating right.

Again I answer honestly. My plate is really full and when I leave the house at seven in the morning and don't get home until ten in the evening, I have to sleep at some point.

Teh haps:truthfully, if you just eat right, that itself will lose a lot of weight for you

This is when I realize that he's not as informed about health as he thinks he is. Not everyone's body works the same, for me if I don't work out hard and eat really well I don't lose weight. Not to mention losing weight without exercise just means the person is going to be skinny and flabby. That's not attractive. I chose not to call him out on it, hoping that eventually the subject would just change sooner.

Teh haps:if you dont mind me asking, how much are you trying to lose?

I didn't mind.

E :Umm, I think I have another 60lbs to go.

I wanted to change the subject here, but I forced myself to keep going because I knew this would be a great blog if he kept on trucking.

Teh haps:its one of the hardest things, eating right

Because obviously I don't know that.

E :I know :/

I was finding it pretty hard to not just start talking about bacon or something.

Teh haps:its a mental thing

Teh haps:if we could just "go crazy" for 2-3 months

Teh haps:lose what you need to lose

Teh haps:then learn how to eat properly

Teh haps:it would make things easier

Teh haps:haha


E :Go crazy?

Teh haps:like only eat what you are supposed to eat

I was under the impression that this was supposed to be a lifestyle change for it to properly work but apparently this guy had a completely different idea.

Teh haps:stop eating 2 hour before you go to sleep

I get into this part later because this misconception is a pet peeve of mine.

Teh haps:drink the amount of water that you need

Teh haps:just go at it in full force

Teh haps:and hit the gym for 45min to 1hour a day

Teh haps:if i did that for 1 month...i would be ripped haha

He was really starting to get on my nerves at this point, but I continued to try and stay in control.

E :I like how you're lecturing me and you don't even know my program

Key word: "Try"

E :Also that don't eat before bed thing has been disproved


Teh haps:really?


E :Yep

E :Most metabolism myths have

E :like eating breakfast to "jump start" your metabolism. It's true that it causes you to eat less throughout the day, but that has more to do with feeling hungry than metabolic burn

My thoughts here were that if I could show how much I knew he would lay off.

Teh haps:i could be wrong...but the theorys that i have learned

Teh haps:(i am getting into personal training)

Teh haps:still hold true to those 'myths;

He's getting snippy with me, which I found amusing. He was acting like you can't google articles and get the same information a personal trainer could tell you. I thought he was ridiculous.

E :You could be wrong. But how much of that have you just been told and accepted and how much are studies that you read up on yourself?

I intentionally did not leave an option for me to be wrong.

Teh haps:well everything we learn is just someone tell it to us

Teh haps:based on their research

Before I could tell him how idiotic his statement was and how it didn't apply to this situation he covered his tracks. Yes, if you zoom way out to look at the picture this would be true. Since that's not how the real world works....

Teh haps:of course i read up and do research

This disclaimer shows that he also realized his words were showing his dumb.

Teh haps:but essesntially its all one mans research or opinion

Then he went back to being dumb by trying to tie in his argument.

E :well since I don't have to bring up the actual study...

I was being antagonistic at this point. I admit that.

E :

This site is run by a professional nutritionist that offers free advice.

Teh haps:

This site is trying to sell you a book about how to lose weight "fast".

Teh haps:the article you sent me does make a valid point...that not eating 3 hours before going to sleep wont make you gain more weight

Teh haps:but at the same time it wont promote weight loss

He actually read the article wrong. Long story short the issue is behavioral and if you gorge yourself in the evening you won't lose weight. However if you eat healthy throughout the day and train yourself to eat healthily it doesn't matter when you eat, just how many calories you consumed.

E :Haha, the difference in our sources is mine is a professional just giving advice and yours is trying to sell me something.

I went back to trying to be nice. Almost.

E :Look, you've already made up your mind about what nutrition advice you want to follow and I understand you're just really excited about nutrition and whatnot, but I've lost 40lbs doing what works for my body, I didn't ask for your advice.

Okay, not really.

Teh haps:i didnt bring it up to give you advice...i think it just kinda led into what i think....but it wasnt an attack on you

As usual my bluntness puts him on the defensive and I got excuses.

E :Okay

That is when we stopped talking. I know I was being mean, but I really do have little patience for idiocy or deceit. It's okay to have standards when it comes to attractiveness. This whole stigma attached to appearance is so ridiculous! Society is trying to guilt trip people into having ugly children! That's not how evolution works.

I also could not stand the way he typed! UGH!

Maybe I am too picky?



  1. Sometimes I think that you never learned how to small-talk. Although it might save you the stress of arguing on the internet, it would deprive me of these hilarious blog posts. Also, I hated the way he typed too. LOL

  2. Small talk is for small people! At least that's how I justify not being normal in this particular instance.

    I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!


  3. When you partake in the internet dating stuff, don't you send a bunch of pics or is it just one? There are all types of different bodies, slightly jolly might be the least of one's problems. I wouldn't even talk to someone unless I had a good idea what they look like. People can pretend all they want but comparable looks matter.

  4. I won't talk to someone unless that have pictures of themself up. I myself do have several photos and I'm very up front about being overweight and my status of correcting that.

    It's when people start nitpicking about my process and giving advice that it gets really uncomfortable. Apparently weight loss is a thing that everyone has an opinion on. I personally don't give advice about weightloss unless it's asked for because I understand that it is a very personal venture.


  5. I can agree with that. It didn't seem like he was giving advice; he was pestering -- relentlessly. That's an annoying personality trait. Overweight > annoying